There are lots of pretty useless, tasteless, or crappy apps out there for the iPhone and iPod Touch. Some are free and some you have to fork out money for. Either way, these are apps that make us ask WTF? (All app links are to the iTunes App Store)

Behold, the random roundup of WTF apps this week:

Kampis
The original Kampi was classified as a productivity app. For 99 cents, you can use a “rotational tool” to count things like how many fruit you’ve eaten, how many push ups you’ve done, etc. Then comes all the other Kampis, each costing 99 cents, each using the same rotating counter with a different picture on it. There’s Sales Kampi where you rotate the counter for every sale you make, Beer Kampi (every beer you drink ), Coffee Kampi (every coffee you drink), and Love Kampi (do I really want to know?). Can there be enough Kampi? My answer is yes. These guys don’t even bother  describing all the newer apps and just tell the user to “See original “Kampi” for details”.

SimStapler
Ever want the sound and sight of a stapler but didn’t have one nearby? Well, now you do. Do I need to say anything else? At least it’s free.

Wambulance!

A wambulance, the urban dictionary tells us, is “A fictional ambulance or rescue squad for someone who cries or whines, most often without provocation.” So, what is the point of having an iPhone if you can’t haul it out, and have it say “Quick call 9 Waa Waa, we need a Wambulance over here” or make the sound of a crying baby? Um, okay, I think I can live without this one. If it was free, maybe I could forgive it and call it fun, but this one will cost you 99 cents.

Nothing

Well, at least they folks at NTP are honest and at least it’s not another fart app. If you’re going to waste 99 cents, you could always waste it on nothing. Click on the nothing button and you will get a quote about nothing, such as “nothing compares to you” or “complete summary: nothing”.

Are We Related?

Are you serious? Instant DNA analysis supposedly at your fingertips. Yes, it’s a novelty and yes it’s a waste of time but to have to pay for this? Even though the price was recently reduced from $1.99, I don’t think it’s worth a dollar. Two people can touch this “scanner” and tell if they are related. Three categories let you choose from “Am I adopted?”; “Can we date?” or “Paternity Test”. I love how they say in the App Store description that they “can’t claim 100% accuracy”. I can’t claim a 1% chance of liking this app.