There are lots of pretty useless, tasteless, or crappy apps out there for the iPhone and iPod Touch. Some are free and some you have to fork out money for. Either way, these are apps that make us ask WTF? (All app links are to the iTunes App Store)

PushUp Counter
This one was originally 99 cents but at least now it’s free. The idea is to lay your iPhone or iPod Touch on the floor and then do pushups, touching your nose on the device each time so it will be counted. Man, that would be funny to watch. So if you have a lot of trouble counting, get this app and touch it with your nose.

iPregnancy Test
I have been bored before–hours spent in waiting rooms, long car rides as a passenger, you get the point. But I have never, and don’t expect I will ever be bored enough to think “wouldn’t it be great if I could use my iPod Touch to pretend to take a pregnancy test, you know, the fake pregnancy test app that I paid 99 cents for”. The app’s description says ” You get ALL the fun of pretending to see if your pregnant with NONE of the downsides! What more could anyone ask for!? ” Um, something I could use for um something, maybe.

Comeback Kid
Remember the episode of Seinfeld where George came up with the perfect comeback AFTER the opportunity had passed and then tried everything to setup a situation so he could use the comeback but he just looked pathetic. This is the iPhone equivalent of that. The app’s description says ” Every once in awhile, you just want to be wittier than the person you are talking to. ” And to do that, it suggests that when someone insults you, you should “open this app up and shake it or tap it until you find the perfect comeback. Every time you shake it (or tap) a new comeback shows up like magic. .. Then, to give you the utmost impact, hit a sound button and get a drum roll, a theater full of laughter or a cool cat call. Score! You did it.” Yeah, that will impress people–shake your iPhone a few times after you’ve been insulted, then say what the iPhone tells you to, and make your iPhone laugh at your comeback. Wouldn’t you be impressed?

iKissMe
You know those days when you’re feeling down and worthless? Maybe you’ve had a bad day at work or your girlfriend has broken up with you or you’re just feeling extra low for no apparent reason. Feel better by reminding yourself that you didn’t pay $4.99 for this application so you could press your lips against the screen of your iPhone and hear and “feel” a kiss. You feel better already, don’t you?

Vomit
Hey, hey, check this out. I’m going to pretend to vomit in order to fool my friends over there. So, here’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to bend over and put my iPhone, with this vomit app open, under my mouth and then I’m going to do like the instructions say and “make gut-wrenching sounds” but if I had an iPod Touch I’d have to shake the Touch while I was pretending to vomit. And my friends will totally believe I’m puking because, well, because they must be idiots. I mean they were even impressed with my comeback that I couldn’t come up with until I’d shaken my iPhone sixteen times, and they played along when I did my fake pregnancy test, even though I’m a guy,  and they didn’t think I was weird when I was kissing my iPhone or poking it with my nose. Anyway, cool trick, huh?